Because I don’t have to be your friend.

Because most couples aren’t friends after they split. Because even though you may think of yourself as more self-aware and “together” the fact of the matter is your desire for us to be friends is born out of your narcissism. Your captain-save-a-ho mentality is tired. I’m tired of you. Tired of 11 years of you putting me on a pedestal that I never asked to be put on. And after I finally fell from grace (chose to be a stay-at-home-mom after rounds of IVF, and finally, a baby; choosing to get a masters degree with our joint savings; looking upon me as less than because I didn’t have a job that made over 50k…)…so back to me falling from grace….fuck you for being that typical man that let your beaver-cleaver parents from Connecticut tell you what a successful marriage is.

I finally had the courage to ask for a divorce and you calmly stood up and announced “2017 will be the year of the divorce” and then called your parents to tell them the news. And your parents…with their “happy 40th birthday BMW”, their “OMG, he changes diapers?!” Fuck you and fuck your parents. Fuck your patriarchy. Fuck you for being a disappointment. Fuck you for not being a partner that admits when he’s wrong. Admits that he’s controlling and agrees to therapy. Fuck you for not even TRYING to give me an ORGASM for over four years.

Just “fuck you” because I don’t have to be your friend because I don’t even like you. Fuck you because I got into THAT PhD program. Fuck you because even my best friend’s husband doesn’t want to do fantasy football with you. Fuck you because the person who married us said “oh thank god! he’s such a narcissist.” Fuck you for trying to tame the wild in me…the wild that you supposedly fell in love with.

I came across your Tinder profile and the thing that struck me the most was this: please love yourself. Wow, just wow. I love myself and that’s why I asked for a divorce. You love yourself so much that I fear that you are on the path to putting another woman on a pedestal and wondering why she falls from grace.

Nike and Starbucks are funding HATE!

The President of the United States is defending white supremacists and neo-Nazis. This is a national emergency and accountability is critical.

The most important thing to Trump is his money and business ties. Yesterday was a bad day for him as dozens of his business councils rebuked then abandoned him.

But that’s not enough. Starbucks and Nike–both companies that seek to profit off of a progressive and inclusive brand–have stores in Trump Tower in New York City. They have likely paid millions of dollars in rent to Trump over time–money that has given him a platform to spew hate for years.

Will you sign this petition with me, calling on Starbucks and Nike to get out of Trump Tower?


If White Supremacists Hold a Rally in Your Hood

Because it’s not just coming to a neighborhood near you, it has, in fact, always been there.


Posted August 15, 2017

Black people: we love and we see you.

Black organizers and our accomplices are fighting back against the white supremacist, pro-fascist “alt-right, ” including those who descended on Charlottesville, VA this past weekend. Their intent was to violently intimidate those seeking to tear down, once and for all, the state’s monuments to the old (and defeated) Confederacy and white supremacy. In the aftermath of white nationalists’ state-sanctioned intimidation tactics, Heather Heyer is dead and dozens of Charlottesville residents and anti-fascists are injured.

This ain’t new. White supremacists have been publically provoking violence against Black people since we’ve been here. But we have a right to fight back.

As we rise up, like the people of Charlottesville, to fight for our freedom, we must prepare ourselves to confront the rising threat of neo-Nazism and neo-confederates. We must remember: the goal of any counteraction is still to build…

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To privileged white women:

Article reposted from The Lily

In light of Charlottesville, VA, the article below encapsulates my thoughts, entirely. I think about my own self daily, and what I would have done during the Civil Rights Movement. 
“In June, Bri Traquair, 31, posted a mugshot of a young white woman named Joan Trumpauer Mulholland on Facebook. In 1961, Mulholland was arrested for protesting segregation. Traquair wrote that almost every white person she knows “has at least thought they would be like Joan” if they had been alive during the civil rights era. Yet, it’s easy to ignore the racial injustices of today if you’re a privileged white woman, she said.
“My fellow white people,” Traquair wrote, “if you think you would have done something then, but are doing nothing now, then you wouldn’t have done anything then, either. So think about what side of history you want to be on, because now’s the time for doing something.”
The post garnered 54,000 likes and more than 43,500 shares.
Mulholland was born in 1941 and raised in Arlington, Va., which was segregated. Her mother was an “unrepentant segregationist,” Mulholland said, and concerned about status. So Mulholland went to Duke University, where she began participating in the sit-in movement to protest segregation. She was arrested twice, and Mulholland later dropped out and became active with the Nonviolent Action Group in Washington.
She was a Freedom Rider, and on June 8, 1961, she was arrested alongside eight others in Jackson, Miss. They refused bail, and were put on death row at Parchman State Prison Farm, where Mulholland was imprisoned for two months.
Mulholland went on to attend Tougaloo College, a historically black college, and worked at the Smithsonian Institution, the Department of Commerce and the Department of Justice. She was also a teacher in Arlington and is still alive.”

Oregon is again “trailblazing.”

The Oregon legislature passed a measure on Wednesday night that could be an incredible victory for reproductive rights in the state. Among many new protections, the Reproductive Health Equity Act of 2017 requires insurers to offer coverage for reproductive health services at no cost, protect abortion rights even if Roe v. Wade is overturned, and allocate public funds for postpartum care for low-income Oregonians.
The measure, also known as House Bill 3391, now awaits Gov. Kate Brown’s signature.

Support National Campaign to Stop Solitary for Kids

Researchers have linked solitary confinement to lasting psychological consequences, including anti-social behavior, anxiety and self-harm. Solitary confinement is most damaging to young people because they are still developing mentally and physically. Yet the use of room confinement for discipline, punishment, administrative convenience, retaliation and staffing shortages remains common practice, and has been documented in reports such as the Foundation’s Maltreatment of Youth in U.S. Juvenile Correctional Facilities. This maltreatment undermines the development of young people who get into trouble with the law and exposes them to grave dangers while failing to improve public safety.