Because I don’t have to be your friend.

Because most couples aren’t friends after they split. Because even though you may think of yourself as more self-aware and “together” the fact of the matter is your desire for us to be friends is born out of your narcissism. Your captain-save-a-ho mentality is tired. I’m tired of you. Tired of 11 years of you putting me on a pedestal that I never asked to be put on. And after I finally fell from grace (chose to be a stay-at-home-mom after rounds of IVF, and finally, a baby; choosing to get a masters degree with our joint savings; looking upon me as less than because I didn’t have a job that made over 50k…)…so back to me falling from grace….fuck you for being that typical man that let your beaver-cleaver parents from Connecticut tell you what a successful marriage is.

I finally had the courage to ask for a divorce and you calmly stood up and announced “2017 will be the year of the divorce” and then called your parents to tell them the news. And your parents…with their “happy 40th birthday BMW”, their “OMG, he changes diapers?!” Fuck you and fuck your parents. Fuck your patriarchy. Fuck you for being a disappointment. Fuck you for not being a partner that admits when he’s wrong. Admits that he’s controlling and agrees to therapy. Fuck you for not even TRYING to give me an ORGASM for over four years.

Just “fuck you” because I don’t have to be your friend because I don’t even like you. Fuck you because I got into THAT PhD program. Fuck you because even my best friend’s husband doesn’t want to do fantasy football with you. Fuck you because the person who married us said “oh thank god! he’s such a narcissist.” Fuck you for trying to tame the wild in me…the wild that you supposedly fell in love with.

I came across your Tinder profile and the thing that struck me the most was this: please love yourself. Wow, just wow. I love myself and that’s why I asked for a divorce. You love yourself so much that I fear that you are on the path to putting another woman on a pedestal and wondering why she falls from grace.

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